RENEWAL

Pink and White Dogwood Trees Lexington Kentucky

By Lisa Huddleston

 

Today is a bad day

Actually the day itself is beautiful

The sun is shining and the spring green of the grass is almost painful to behold

Purple, pink redbuds are fading away and the white popcorn dogwoods are taking their place

It is a beautiful day

 

But today is a bad day

I can’t feel the joy of the color or the melodies of the songbirds

I am wrapped in a gray cloud that muffles my senses and separates me from the joy

With fat sausage fingers in my ears and a musty stained pillow over my eyes

I cannot receive the message of spring

Green, yellow, and purple notes sing, “New life, new life!”

But I am stuck with the old

Old failures, old mistakes, just plain getting old and graying and wrinkling away

 

I hear my deep, deep sigh and laugh at my self-pity

The ridiculousness of my condition

I am surrounded by blessings

By family, by friends, by beauty, by love

And I stay wrapped in the smelly gray blanket of despair

 

My choice, my fault, my sin—it must be so

 

Oh, Lord, unwrap me as you would a gift

Tear from me the layers that cover the truth of who you made me to be

Like Eve in the garden, stand me bare before you and show me that I, too, am very good

Even I

And then clothe me in your love

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