By Lisa Huddleston
I long to paint a portrait
I crave to craft a song
To memorialize my moments
To make them last for longer
Than just today
I know this is because
I miss the harmonies of my former life
The interweaving of the needs of others
With the desires of my heart
The constant giving and the taking and the weaving and the making
And now there is not as much
Not much giving nor much taking
And my days are clear and long and empty and full of significantly mundane moments
I think if I could grab the moments and
Throw them down on paper or canvas or track
Then they would live forever or
If not forever then at least for longer than for just today
They would matter more and last
But I have no right to clutter the world with moments
To fill the sky with falling leaves frozen in thick air
Full of meaning that may or may not be there
Once living creatures perpetually suspended in clear resin
To hold down my onion skin memories and images and dreams
Moments are fleeting and should leave when I do
Caught in the flames and lifted into the sky on wings of smoke
Not frozen
Not hardened
Not left as a burden to be carried by others
Fluid and lifting up into ever-thinning and evaporating rings
Finally gone and freed from both memory and artificial meaning
And carried away on smoke