BREATHING THE DAY

By Lisa Huddleston

Okay.  I was getting on here to recant everything I wrote yesterday.  Who am I to splatter my feelings all over anyone’s computer screen?  Why should anyone want to hear my thoughts?  I was feeling sorry for myself and angry and a little hurt.  Even at 52, I find it so hard to take criticism.  (Can I get an amen?)  And after going back to read some of my older posts I realized that what I have to say really hasn’t changed as much as the format has.  Actually, I’ve been frighteningly consistent.  Life is tough.  I can laugh and cry at the same time.  And God is always good.

Soooooo … it’s a beautiful day.  I need to accept that I am not everyone’s cup of tea, but that’s okay.  I find myself thankful for the simple things.  My wonderful family.  My life-long pals.  My dog who finally got a good bath yesterday and no longer smells like turkey poop.  The petunias my mother is happily planting around the patio as I write.  The walk I plan to take with a good friend this afternoon.  And so on.  It’s a good life.

Probably, if I spent more time writing about those things, more people would be content to keep reading.  I know.  I’m a melancholy soul.  But I do love a sad movie or a wry book or a deep poem.  I just do.  And there are hard things in this beautiful world.  I can’t help feeling them, empathizing with both good and bad people, and crying over roadkill.

Inhale. Exhale. And today is a beautiful day!

(Last thought on this.  Promise.)

 

WHY I WRITE THIS BLOG

By Lisa Huddleston

When I first began this blog, I was just beginning to re-discover my nearly lost love of writing.  My children were growing up, heading off to college, and I was suddenly (for the first time in 20 years) finding myself with too much time on my hands.  I was also in the throes of a massive identity crisis.

I began with devotionals.  Carefully crafted:  scripture verse at the top in italics, a discussion of what the verse was saying, a short life application, and often a call to action.  It was a safe way to write.  I always did my utmost to support anything I said from scripture, and I rarely heard anything but positive comments.

My writing has changed as I have.  Now I write from my emotional heart–my “being self.”  Yes, I still strive to support my words from a Christian worldview.  Afterall, I am a Christian.  However I have stopped hiding behind the Bible.  Now when I have real struggles and need to explore less-than-popular opinions, I do.  And that has changed the feedback that I have received.

But that is real.  Christians struggle.  Christians even sin.  And I would rather read the words of a struggling believer than those of someone who thinks they have it all together.  (I know–I’ve never even been able to pretend to that!!)

Both when I began and now, writing is cathartic.  Mainly this blog is a way for me to process what is going on in my heart and head–to make sense of the pinballs that are bouncing around in me.  It is not primarily about the reader.  But … I do care about my reader.  I do not want to discourage.  I do not want to promote doubtful or sinful living.  Not at all!  But I believe that being honest allows us both–reader and writer–to deal better with life.  Just as writing helps me to get rid of the junk I feel, reading the writings of others who are struggling helps me to do the same thing.

I’m sure by now you can guess that I have received negative feedback from someone who has been reading this blog.  I respect that and even appreciate the honesty that my reader has extended.  But as with everything, readers have a choice about what they read just as writers have a choice about what they write.  Freedom.  If I have offended (or discouraged or depressed) you, dear reader, please unsubscribe.  I appreciate your freedom to choose.

However this is who I am learning to be.  Me.  A struggling, sometimes succeeding and sometimes failing, follower stumbling forward in the path of Jesus Christ.  I fall, a lot, but I always get back up and keep on walking.  And that’s where (or who) I am.  Hope you get that and can keep walking that path with me.

Peace and grace, and thanks for reading.